Archives for : Beyonce

Breathe In & Exhale

Beyonce-performs-Freedom-Kendrick-Lamar

Beyonce performing “Freedom” with Kendrick Lamar…

The 2016 BET Awards Show, also known as the “It’s Gon Be Alright” Show, aired this past Sunday on BET. Beyonce, kicking things off, was kickin’ water like it had done somethin’ to her, kickin’ it like somebody forgot to make lemonade out of it, kickin’ it like winemakers stomp grapes!

Or maybe kickin’ it as though it were…Becky with the Good Hair’s face? Sheen sorry.

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Flashback: Blue Ivy Approved

Mama Bey’s performance at this year’s VMA’s was Blue Ivy approved.

Listen to Beyonce  and Jay Z’s laughter.  It’s infectious.

Stymied by the Loss of the Hymen

 

jason-derulo-jordin-sparks-in-bed-instagram

My big black daddy would have torn through Instagram, chucking spears, to snatch me up outta that bed!

Fathers, go get your daughters.  So what if she’s over 21, making her own paper, and living under her own roof?  If she’s a virgin, go get her and secure a bedazzled bracelet just above the ankle-bone to detect if she travels outside the designated perimeters of work or school.  But whatever you do, snatch your daughter from the world and lock her in her room.  Because if you know she’s a virgin, that devil who licks his big red lips whenever she’s around knows she’s a virgin.  And wet behind the ears.  With milk on her breath.  He can hear the goo-goo-ga-ga in her voice.  He knows she’s innocent and gullible—a newborn to love—and highly susceptible to bustin’ an awkward virgin move.

Consider the fairytale romance of Jordin Sparks and Jason DeRulo, which was doomed from the start when Jordin Sparks fell for the old engagement ring trick.

At first she was feeling like they were a match made in iTunes heaven.  Now she’s probably just feeling like . . .

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A Tall Glass of Ginn

She-woke-up-like-this.

"You know who it is. You see these bees."

Oops!  She done done it again.  Beyonce woke up like this.  Makeup-free.  Under a crown of white roses (lookin’ mighty yella to me).  Damn, that’s special.  But it’s nothing compared to waking up on a bed of cool green grass.  You know . . . when you trip . . . cause you’re kinda drunk . . . off the tall glasses of Ginn the bartender kept pouring you . . . for free . . . cause you cute . . . and you wake up wet with dew (or urine) . . . on not your lawn . . . but somebody’s lawn, also known as a bed of grass?  Well, enough about me.  Let’s talk about The Queen and her crown of white roses and . . .

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The Bees Are Buzzing

Jay-Z and Beyonce On The Run in Paris

Is Beyonce pregnant with her second little bumble bee?

Blue Ivy is a matter of months away from being a big sister!

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Blue Ivy in Brooklyn

Blue-Ivy-Beyonce-in-Brooklyn-New-York

Beyonce and Blue Ivy in Brooklyn this Sunday.

Finally, from darkness, the child comes to the light.    

(And just as suspected, Blue Ivy’s a beauty–just like mom, Beyonce!)

A Super Bowl Spooktacular

Beyonce blows the crowd away at Super Bowl 2013!

“The best Super Bowl Halftime Show ever!” –Jay-Z, Wendy Williams, The World

It was a raucous Sunday night with just a hint of spring in the New Orleans air. The glint of Mardi Gras beads twinkled here and there in the night like stars. The massive slaughter of poultry shot the demand for chicken flesh to an all-time high. The last ounce of chicken blood was reportedly last seen swinging in a vial from Angelina Jolie’s neck. But the spookiness did not end there.

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Midnight Blue

Blue Ivy Carter, child without a face?

Maybe Beyonce and Jay-Z should have named her Midnight Blue, for all the time she spends shrouded in darkness.

Blue Ivy spends first birthday alone.  Playing solitaire.  Waiting for the birth of Karmenian Bluegrass, Kim and Kanye West’s little klothespony-to-be. . . .

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The Dismantling of a Beauty Queen

Kenya Moore, Miss USA 1993

Ageless Kenya Moore is "Gone With the Wind" fabulous!

If asked to name three black beauty queens, most people would only remember two or three.  Tops. Remembering Vanessa Williams—actress, singer, blue eyes—is easy. Scandal tends to make a lasting impression.  Out of that scandal rose another ray of sunshine, Suzette Charles who, without the black cloud of scandal, has gone on to live a normal and, therefore, perfectly forgettable life.

Then came Kenya.

Over the years, former Miss USA Kenya Moore has starred in various B movies.  Forgettable movies. Like a shadow passing over a lawn, thankfully . . .

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A Song of Uncommon Sense

Macklemore-performs-Thrift-Shop-on-Jimmy-Fallon

Macklemore and Wanz looking and sounding incredible on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

Master P and MC Hammer must be scratching their heads about now.  They must be asking themselves: “Where were these guys before I unloaded all my loot on the sort of stuff that the Bible warns will rust, break, and or get eaten by moths?”

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