Beyonce-performs-Freedom-Kendrick-Lamar

Beyonce performing “Freedom” with Kendrick Lamar…

The 2016 BET Awards Show, also known as the “It’s Gon Be Alright” Show, aired this past Sunday on BET. Beyonce, kicking things off, was kickin’ water like it had done somethin’ to her, kickin’ it like somebody forgot to make lemonade out of it, kickin’ it like winemakers stomp grapes!

Or maybe kickin’ it as though it were…Becky with the Good Hair’s face? Sheen sorry.

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Alicia Keys lugging around instruments that can’t be heard during her performances. The one thing we have in common, a guitar to cover our bellies.

Did you ever think you would know or remember a song by French Montana, Fat Joe, or Remy Ma? Me neither. What can I say? Nothin’ can stop me from blowin’ my Karton speakers out blasting “All the Way Up.”

The lyrics are redundant as hell, as catchy as flu, and strangely sort of heavenly. French Montana went all Psalm 121 talking ‘bout “Look to the hills, I’m all the way up. Your help comes from me. Tell me what you want! I got what you need!” Hilarious! Call me possessed, but I feel unstoppable blastin’ that sh!t!

Speaking of French, I was hatin’ on him for creating the perception that he had rolled Trina’s (big as Montana) butt to the curb for an even bigger butt. Khloe Kardashian, eeew. And yuck. Khloe Kardashian’s butt is like two olives forced to share legs like toothpicks. So I felt a little “eeew and yuck” towards French too. But I’m over it. Loved, loved, loved his Moroccan-inspired gear. What up, L’Afrique!

Weren’t you disappointed that Usher performed his lackluster thug life song instead of introducing Yuna to a larger audience with “Crush”? Yuna and Usher’s vocals are as smooth as EVOO on that track. If you have not heard it, take a listen right here on Blackbiter.com.

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Maxwell, performing our song, Lake By the Ocean, hoo, hoo, hooo, ha, hoo…hoo, hoo…yassss!!!

Here is where I share a secret, a secret so secret even Maxwell doesn’t know. While it may unsettle you to hear it, ladies, it’s true. Yessirrr, we’re engaged! Why anyone would need a “Lake by the Ocean” only my darling knows. But the song was inspired by me, written for me, the lake, purchased for me, and we are very, very happy. Our registry is at Tiffany’s. Understand that I had to say yes. I had no choice. Something about the tone of Maxwell’s voice sends a million yellow-as-sunshine butterflies wafting around my head, puts a summer breeze in my hair, and lifts my spirit like bubbles so that I feel l can float….

Uh, what was I talkin’ ‘bout?

Oh, yeah, the Prince tribute. God love my light-skinned twin, Sheila E., but her back-in-the-day medley-deja-vu-doo was rushed. Frantic. Reminiscent of GaGa trying too hard to celebrate David Bowie. Helter, yet not as skelter. I couldn’t relax. I was jumpy for Sheila E. Kept waiting for her to slip & fall, break a drum stick, and then burst into sobs because of a heart too heavy with grief over the loss of that love bizarre she shared with The Purple One.

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LOS ANGELES, CA – JUNE 26: Recording artist Sheila E. (C, holding guitar) performs onstage during the 2016 BET Awards at the Microsoft Theater on June 26, 2016 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Kevin Winter/BET/Getty Images for BET)

The BET audience, however, seemed to love it, loved every tribute from Jennifer Hudson baptizing us in the Purple Rain, Tori Kelly looking uncomfy w/Stevie Wonder, The Weird One Janelle Monae, the unknown artist Bilal humping the floor, Erykah Badu lying too deep in the pocket w/The Roots, all in a hit-or-miss attempt to conjure up the magic only Prince could. And for sure, the tempo was “all the way up” compared to that sad geriatric tribute to Prince offered by The Narcissist Currently Known As Madonna.

“The worst part about awards shows are the awards,” I heard a DJ say whilst I was driving to work the next Mundayne morning. It’s funny because now that I ponder it, I hardly recall the actual awards at all.

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Jesse Williams, recipient of the Humanitarian award…

But I do remember a whole lotta people breathing in and exhaling to unload a whole lotta stuff off their chests.  Usher wore a not so subtle shirt that read: Don’t Trump America. “Cookie” told us to vote for Hillary Clinton, you know, or else. Samuel Jackson, when accepting the Lifetime Achievement award, warned us to not “get tricked.” “Grey’s Anatomy” actor Jesse Williams, recipient of the Humanitarian award and adding heat to an unforgettable acceptance speech spat this fire right chere:

“We’re done watching and waiting while this invention called whiteness uses and abuses us, burying black people out of sight and out of mind while extracting our culture, our dollars, our entertainment like oil, black gold, ghettoizing and demeaning our creations then stealing them, gentrifying our genius and trying us on like costumes before discarding our bodies.”

So I don’t have much to say about the 2016 BET Awards giving a big shout out to black generals of the armed forces, skateboarders, golfers, corn rowers, basket weavers, and synchronized swimmers, except to say that the performances in between were great, intense with emotion, inspiring, and maybe even therapeutic.

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Chloe x Halle Bailey droppin’ it like it’s hot…

BET should be commended for not only honoring the best in black entertainment and introducing us to new and up-and-coming artists like Beyonce’s Chloe x Halle, but having the audacity to go a beat further and gift us a listen! Whether by word or song.

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Did you watch? Whose performance topped your list?

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Comment (1)

  1. Holliday Vann

    You always know when Alicia Keys will be performing for black folks. The hair goes uber ethnic ASAP!!! LOL. Love the song, “In Common,” though…juss cain’t stand her old phony self.

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