Archives for : Movie Bites

Where’s the Beef?!

Batman-vs-Superman

Batman:          “Does this mask make my chin look big?”

Superman:      “I think you mean loooonger.  And why is your voice auto-tuned?”

This Batman vs. Superman movie has caused me to feel like a kid being jerked around with on Jimmy Kimmel.  This can’t be right.   (Sweats bullets.)  Two good guys . . . enemies??   Can’t be!!!   Why would anyone want to make Superman mad at Batman?!!  (Tears up.)  Whose stupid, stupid, stupid idea was this anyway?  (Open mouth, insert pill (but only because I’m waaaay too old to be throwin’ a tantrum).)

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Oscar: Old, Set in His Musty White Ways

Oscars-2016

Should anyone expect anything other than exclusion from anyone 88, old, white, and called Oscar?

“Say what we will, there is something in human nature which we cannot blot out, which makes one man, in the end, recognize and reward merit in another, regardless of colour or race.”

–Booker T. Washington, “Up From Slavery” (1901)

***

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Selling Pain

Toni-Braxton-Unbreak-My-Heart

Toni Braxton: Unbreak My Heart premiered Saturday night on Lifetime. It would seem that whether an autobiography is authorized or unauthorized impacts the quality of the end product.

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Drops House on Peter Pan

The-Wiz-Live-Shanice-Williams

The Wiz Live!: Raising the Bar

The Wiz Live!, a performance full of life, aired a few days ago on NBC.  The imagery was magical.  The script was a combination of the expected and the unexpected.  When the Wiz played by Queen Latifah asked Dorothy Gale (Shanice Williams), “Who you callin’ a coward?,” fans of the rapper turned actress, turned TV host, jazz stylist, producer, etc., etc., knew that the question was an homage to a very early rap hit where the Queen asks: “Who you callin’ a b—-?”

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Ah, Non, Émasculé!

Halle-Berry-Olivier-Martinez-Divorce

With-zout ze common enemy, Eugène, what fun was zair in ze marry-ah-jer?

Emasculated?  Is zat all?  Haha Haha, oh my, ha, ha…

Après ze shoque initiale of news of ze Halle Berry and Olivier Martinez split subsided, in hindsight, perhaps ze writing was already on ze divorce papiers.

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King’s Court Expanding

Teyana-Taylor-sonogram

Hands behind head, feet up, just livin' THE life!

Iman Shumpert’s spirits these days must be flying as high as his high-top fade.  The NBA star and Cleveland Cavaliers shooting guard recently announced that he was awaiting the arrival of his first child with actress and R&B singer Teyana Taylor.

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Leave Your Baggage Behind

Runaway-Island-TV-One-original-movie“If your hair is purple, you wear a lot of Goth jewelry, and you prefer the ring of gunshots in the club rather than the beat of kettle drums, this vacation is not the spot for you.”  –Stefon, Club Kid, Saturday Night Live

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Bold, Brave, No Filter

Taryn-Manning-Cleveland-Abduction

Actress Taryn Manning becomes Michelle Knight in Cleveland Abduction.

Taryn Manning’s mom may have been horrified for her daughter’s sanity for playing the role of Michelle Knight.  But from what we can tell, it takes great depth of skill and attention to the smallest detail to find the heart of seemingly unlovable victims covered in so much grit and soot.  Taryn Manning is pure genius at work when delivering lines with that raspy voice, with delivering every expression of her petite body, down to the twitch of her bare foot.

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Born Uniqorn

Taryn-Manning-actress-with-heart

Don't let the grit fool you. Even grit sometimes sparkles in the sun!

From the moment she takes center stage, although she’s below average in height, the actress known as Taryn Manning, like a flash of light, steals every wandering eye.

Her look is not typical of most Hollywood stars.  Some might say “below average.”  Her forehead, for size, rivals fellow actress Christina Ricci’s and may eclipse rock star Rihanna’s.  Her lips are a little crooked and on the thin side.  Her skin is often white-sheet pale.  Her face may even show signs of early wrinkling, instead of the usual sparkle and glow of other stars aided by expensive BB crèmes.  And yet there is something about the way her eyes hold space in the shade of her forehead, combined with the quiet rasp of her voice, that makes her mesmerizing.

Something special.

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Withers in the Cool

Wuthering-High-School-cast-of-morose-marionettesWatching at midnight won’t make Wuthering High School, the latest adaptation of Emily Bronte’s Wuthering Heights, as dark as desired.  Crashing waves beneath the bright blue sky of Malibu, California and rich and bratty Barbies & Kens, in rags more pricey than cars, moping around homes built like resorts with cool stone pools, how could it?  But that’s the point, right?  Choosing the cold and dreary Upper East Coast for a setting would have been apropos, but redundant.

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