White Women Mourn the Loss of Dirk Nowitzki

For days now, white women all over the world have either been bawling uncontrollably or weeping silently into bits of Kleenex over the loss of Dirk Nowitzki.

Jessica Olsson: A work of art

Could the captivating Jessica Olsson be the cause?

Dirk Nowitzki and Jessica Olsson have wed...allegedly.

Unlike some Baller Wives, Olsson generally avoids the spotlight. Wearing the showstopper of white gowns, she accompanied Nowitzki to the 2011 ESPY Awards in Los Angeles, where he and his team were honored with awards.

Over the weekend of July 14, 2012, the NBA champion proved that he is a true Maverick.  One who is unorthodox in his ideals and attitudes, like Texas lawyer Samuel A. Maverick, 1803-70, who refused to brand his cattle or do as the herd does.

After winning the championship against the Miami Heat, and then taking home two awards at the ESPYs (Best Male Athlete and Best NBA Player) in 2011, Dirk Nowitzki’s stock soared with eligible women.  His crew, the Dallas Mavericks, also won an ESPY for Best Team.  But to the chagrin of single ladies all over the recession-plagued globe, Dirk Nowitzki succumbed to his latest bout of jungle fever and went on and did the damn thang with Kenyan Jessica Olsson.

The beauty, whose mother is Kenyan and father is Swedish, works as a manager at the Art Gallery of George Michael in Dallas, Texas.  Sister to twin brothers, Martin Olsson and Marcus Olsson, Jessica is also an associate director of the Goss-Michael Foundation in Dallas, Texas, which was founded in June 2007 by recording artist George Michael and partner Kenny Goss.

Dirk Nowitzki put a ring on it while in Germany back in February of this year on Valentine’s Day.  But, after numerous false reports of their engagement over the years by credible sources, who knew that the über gorgeous beings would have a traditional wedding in Africa within six months of their official engagement?!

An insider at Mediatakeout.com confided:

It was beautiful.  Dirk delivered the dowry in cattle, wearing traditional African garb.

Ca-ca-cattle?  Oh well, to each his own.  Dirk and Jessica are planning a second ceremony in Germany to further celebrate the union of their cultures.

Thankfully ex-fiancée Cristal Taylor, who turned out to be a wild lioness in her own right, is as deep in the past as the jungles of Africa.  The unrighteous heifer had the audacity to fake a pregnancy to trap the golden-maned baller.  However, a test proved that not only was “the kitty” not Dirk’s, it was crystal-clear that “the African cat” was, in fact, not “with cub” at all. 

Cristal Taylor on, perhaps, her worst day.

The Lyin' Queen

Little did Dirk know that in 2006 his Queen of the Wild had undergone some expensive cosmetic dental work in Texas hoping to never look black.  However, The Lyin’ Queen was arrested at the Maverick star’s home on May 6, 2009—accused of failing to pay $10,000 for said new grill—and, ultimately, received five years in the pen for violating probation in a 12-year-old forgery and theft of services case.  Though the relationship ended—with the arrogance of the proud—Taylor, true to her thievin’ ways and always desirous of the lion’s share, kept the $200,000 engagement bling. . . .

The pride of Germany has been with the Mavs since 1998 and is the 34th player in NBA history—and the first European—to hit the 20,000-point milestone.

Apart from being the Mavericks’ all-time leader in points, rebounds, field goals, field goal attempts, 3-pointers, 3-point attempts, free throws, and free-throw attempts, Nowitzki has made the NBA All-Star games eleven times and the All-NBA Teams twelve times.

He was voted NBA MVP of the 2006-07 NBA season—becoming the first European player to receive that honor—as well as the MVP of the 2011 NBA Finals having led his team to the title where they blew out the Miami Heat like a candle.

During a public confession, the Mavericks center has said:

Jessica is probably the best thing that happened to me this year.  After the incidents in 2009, I never thought that I would so quickly . . . [go black again?]  She is a great woman, smart and intelligent.  Now let’s see just how that develops over time with us.  It feels great in any case, and we wait for what will come of it.

Jessica Olsson and her engagement ring make their debut.

Jessica Olsson and Dirk Nowitzki, engaged.

So glad to see that Dirk and Jessica are powering forward.  Best wishes for the family you always wanted Dirk!  Congratulations to you both!  So hope glad these rumors are true, don’t aren’t you?!

Dirk Nowitzki and Jessica Olsson marry in Kenya

Jessica Olsson and Dirk Nowitzki, married!

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Comment (1)

  1. Dell

    They are a beautiful couple.

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