Do Re Mimi For So Lotta Dough

Mariah Carey named new American Idol judge!

Fans can probably thank American Idol judge Randy Jackson, who is also Mariah's manager, for the successful negotiations.

The magic that is Mariah Carey has inked a deal with American Idol in an amount, reportedly, climbing the scales toward 20 do-re-mi-mi-million dollars.  Excuse the stutter, but those are enough C-notes to bribe a songbird or a sitting judge.

Unfortunately, the Pop and R&B diva, who regularly sticks her fingers in her ears whenever she hits high notes (even in bed hubby Nick Cannon affirms) may have a legitimate cause to do so in the coming episodes.  It’s American Idol’s own fault though that the honey-coated vocals will be forced to sit idle through so many bad notes and worse singing.  Hitting Paula Abdul with a “Straight up, now tell me?  Did you really think we’d love you forever?” is what started this game of musical chairs in the first place.

Mariah Carey lands spot at American Idol table.
American Idol hits high note with Mariah Carey!

However, to see whether Mariah Carey remains sweet-faced during the teeth-grinding renditions of her own precious songs should be priceless!  Those of us who in angry protest had refrained from watching the spectacle that is American Idol can finally loosen our grip, retire our “We want Paula!” banners, and tune in again.

When people talk about the great influential singers, they talk about Aretha, Whitney and Mariah.  That’s a testament to her talent.  Her range is that amazing.  —Stevie Wonder

Sorry, Paula.  Sorry, J.Lo.  But since Mariah Carey can hum outside of a studio box better than you can sing inside of one, she’s in all likelihood overqualified and underpaid for the gig.  In addition to her talent, at 42, she is still as charming as she is charismatic.  With her refreshing open-book approach to life coupled with an easy we’re-just-girlfriends-talking attitude, Mariah Carey will, no doubt, do American Idol justice and win back that 23% loss in viewership drained during J.Lo’s sophomoric year.  Especially when the rest of the world discovers what a 24-carat gold personality she has—and just how hilarious and entertaining she can be!

All American Idol has to do is keep the bubbly flowing!

Considering the two or three mini-concerts she’ll be required to perform for ratings and how much that pervert Howard Stern earns gets on Nick Cannon’s show, personally, I think Madame Mimi should have demanded more-more!  What do you think?

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