Archives for : Christina Aguilera

ooh, aah, yUM . . . wait, where are the tUMs?

Gutter Love: You know you love it!

Is Urban Music leaving a bad taste in your mouth?

Ever get that not so fresh feeling?  In a world of “No scratches, no hickeys, all I want is a quickie,” I did.  But it really wasn’t my fault.  I had been drinking from the vine and I inadvertently (or somehow on purpose) got pulled from The Fish into a dirty puddle of UM.  Urban Music.  Feeling defiled, like a Levite, I had no choice but to go out back and sacrifice one he-goat, a half rack of gourmet lamb, and two organic turtledoves.  (Without spot or blemish, of course.)  Ignorant and godless, my neighbors merely imagined that I was barbecuing.

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